As with yesterday, approximately 564 trailers have dropped over the course of 12 hours. Can all of you trailer-droppers in Hollywood get together and coordinate these releases better, please? Have a lunch! Sip a few mimosas and make a Google doc! It’s on me! (It’s not.) 

A few lucky trailers starred in their own posts today, but we’ve rounded up the rest below:

The Age of Adaline trailer:
In the Age Of Adaline, Blake Lively is just a woman who “lives a normal life,” except not at all, because she looks like Blake Lively. This non-normal woman then gets into magical car accident that “renders her ageless” and allows her to look like Blake Lively forever. Adaline seems it’s primarily an excuse to treat Blake like a living Barbie, dressing her up in period costumes; changing her hair color, length, and style every few scenes; and pairing her up with a variety of men of different ages and appeals. Which I’m totally fine with.

The trail of the tape
Title: The Age Of Adaline
Director: Lee Toland Krieger
Screenwriters: Salvador Paskowitz, J. Mills Goodloe
Cast: Blake Lively, Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn
Release date: April 24, 2015
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “All these years, you’ve lived, but you’ve never had a life.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab:

The Big Game trailer:
Thankfully, this movie is not about the Super Bowl. Or maybe it is, but like, metaphorically. On a surface level, it appears to follow Oskari (Omni Tommila), a 13-year-old Finnish kid who has to take a “test of manhood,” which we’ve all passed, by spending a day and a night alone in the wilderness. As he prepares to prove he isn’t some wimpy-ass chick, Air Force One is shot down by terrorists, and Oskari finds the president of the United States in an “escape pod” and helps him defeat said terrorists overhead. The president is Samuel L. Jackson, which is all you need to know. (The trailer is currently exclusive to Empire Online, so view it here.)

The trail of the of the tape 
Title: The Big Game
Director: Jalmari Helander
Screenwriter: Jalmari Helander
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Omni Tommila, Jim Broadbent, Ted Levine, Victor Garber, Felicity Huffman
Release date: March 25 in Finland, US TBD
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “You don’t recognize me? The President? Of the United States?”
The entire trailer in one screengrab:

The “Special Valentine’s Day” trailer for The Longest Ride:
The latest product of the Nicholas Sparks Schmaltz Factory (which also produces the good, goose-fat schmaltz), The Longest Ride is not not just one extended metaphor for sexual intercourse. As is Sparks’ way, it follows a pair of young lovers—an artist and a bull rider—and a pair of old-timey lovers from the past, and probably involves a young person who dies tragically but ultimately teaches his or her partner something important about life so it’s fine. Don’t watch this one until Valentine’s Day—it’s the Special Valentine’s Day trailer!—or you too will find yourself fending off the raging bull that is Nicholas Sparks.

The trail of the of the tape 
Title: The Longest Ride
Director: George Tillman Jr.
Screenwriters: Craig Bolotin, Nicholas Sparks 
Cast: Britt Robertson, Scott Eastwood, Alan Alda, Jack Huston, Oona Chaplin
Release date: April 10
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “You can only touch with your riding hand. All other touching’s against the rules.” [Cut to sex scene]
The entire trailer in one screengrab:

The Crumbs trailer, which didn’t debut today, but which I just found, so I’m cheating:
Crumbs, a Spanish-Ethiopian co-production that debuted at the International Film Festival Rotterdam (IFFR) and was recently purchased by Indiepix for U.S. distribution, is a totally surreal-looking sci-fi romance shot in an Ethiopian ghost town. Watching it, I’m reminded of 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, District 9, and my recurring nightmare that Santa is smacking me upside the head. I have no idea what’s going on in this trailer. So I’m in.

The trail of the of the tape 
Title: Crumbs
Director: Miguel Llansó
Screenwriters: Miguel Llansó
Cast: Daniel Tadesse, Selam Tesfayie
Release date: TBD
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “The bowling machine started working on its own again.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab: