Last week, denizens of the Internet learned of a sad, pathetic mandate established by Sony in 2011, dictating that cinematic depictions of Spider-Man must must show him to be, among other things, a drug-free straight white guy. Many had already assumed a nonverbal agreement of that nature might have been in place, but to see it formally codified and organized was still pretty shocking and disappointing. Our dreams of a coked-up, biracial, pansexual Spider-Nonbinary Individual have been dashed, but the executives at Sony had an even bigger problem to tackle: Where would they find a young white male heterosexual actor?
After searching high and low for a performer fitting these oppressive specifications, Marvel Studios has finally found its new Spider-Man. Marvel’s official blog hit webheads with a double dose of personnel confirmations today: Tom Holland shall don the red-and-blue in the rereboot, and Jon Watts will take the director’s chair.
There was a time when their search for this mythic hetero Caucasian boy led Marvel executives to Asa Butterfield (and Cabin In The Woods’ Drew Goddard was once in the conversation for directorly duties), but they’ve decided to go with more low-profile names for the project. Watts has a couple of bona fide features to his name, such as the Eli Roth-produced horrorshow Clown and the Sundance-approved Kevin Bacon vehicle Cop Car. I can’t speak to the quality of either of these films, but that’s why we’ve got Mike D’Angelo’s trenchant coverage from Sundance: “Rather than a constant joyride, [Cop Car’s] the kind of movie that’ll stop dead for five minutes to watch Bacon’s sheriff repeatedly try to unlock a car door with his shoelace. By the climactic showdown, the initially jovial tone has been obliterated, replaced by ghoulish quasi-humor in which the two boys casually toss loaded guns around with no understanding of how a safety works. All the film is missing is a powerful ending—one that slams it shut rather than just trailing off, uncertain…”
Even as a relatively unknown quantity, Watts seems up to the task. Holland’s another question mark, having played little-seen but plot-driving children in The Impossible and last year’s Locke. The boy gets around, too, with splashy roles on the stage (he starred in Broadway’s Billy Elliot musical) and on television (he plays a member of the Cromwell family in the BBC’s historical drama Wolf Hall).
The first instinct with big casting news like this tends to be excitement or outright revulsion. I’m as guilty of this as anyone, but with their limited reputations, Watts and Holland may raise fanboy hackles. There’s no way to speculate on this one, so I guess there’s nothing to do but wait until July 28, 2017.