The following article constitutes the 10th (yes, that’s 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10) news item The Dissolve has run reporting on the ongoing quagmire that the Aaron Sorkin-scripted Steve Jobs biopic has become. Tenth anniversaries are supposed to be special, and yet, something feels a bit off. The first time was so special. We fell head over heels for the prospect of another collaboration between David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin, but too much has transpired since then. The spark is gone. It’s gotten to the point where writing about the Steve Jobs biopic has taken on a rote sense of routine, as if Sony, the rotating door of possible leading men and attached directors, the restless phantom of Steve Jobs, and myself are merely going through the motions.
Are you even still attracted to me, unmade Steve Jobs biopic? When’s the last time we went on a date? No, unmade Steve Jobs biopic, a real date.
I guess there’s nothing left to do but go through this whole song-and-dance one more time, until next week, when a flaming sharknado tears through Los Angeles, killing all attached personnel on the project and we have to report on that. Here’s the Cliff’s Notes version: Fincher: In. Christian Bale: Maybe in. Fincher: Out. Danny Boyle: In. Leonardo DiCaprio: Maybe in. Leonardo DiCaprio: Out. Christian Bale: Maybe in again. Christian Bale: Definitely in. Seth Rogen: Maybe in. Christian Bale: Out again. Michael Fassbender: Maybe in.
It would seem that the head honchos at Sony have grown as tired of hearing about their inability to control this production as we have. Variety reports that Sony has decided to uninstall the constantly malfunctioning app that is the Sorkin/Boyle Jobs film, in the hopes that Universal or another major studio may take up the Sisyphean task of assembling a creative team.
If it hadn’t before, the project has now surely developed a reputation as cursed, not unlike the doomed film adaptation of John Kennedy Toole’s classic novel A Confederacy Of Dunces. Mercifully, the pre-production troubles haven’t claimed any lives as of yet. However, someone should keep a close eye on Danny Boyle. The way things have been going, it’s only a matter of time until he gets kidnapped or eaten by a bear. At this point, no Jobs setback is beyond the realm of possibility.