Trailers for The Runner, The Secret Life Of Pets, Turbo Kid, Hotel Transylvania 2, and Boulevard all dropped today. Let’s get crazy and watch them all one after the other and see what happens!

Nicolas Cage, owner of castles and lover of women and screaming, is taking his very long face to Louisiana in The Runner. Set during the aftermath of the BP oil spill, Austin Stark’s directorial debut follows our fair Cage as an intrepid congressman valiantly defending those affected by the spill; at the same time, he’s breaking his marriage vows to bone several sexy young women. Who says you can’t have it all? Will the resulting sex scandal destroy his career? Should it? Or is it fine, because “great men, men who build legacies, they aren’t always decent”? Is moral relativism fun or what?

The trail of the tape
Title: The Runner
Director: Austin Stark
Screenwriter: Austin Stark
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Connie Nielsen, Sarah Paulson, Peter Fonda, Wendell Pierce
Release date: August 7, 2015
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “Just gotta fight through it like a man.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab: 

I will watch anything Louis C.K. and/or Jenny Slate is involved in, even if it’s about cats and dogs, which I am not—*braces for impact*— particularly a fan of. (Cats know too much; dogs aren’t morally opposed to eating your face while you’re sleeping.) (Rachel’s views do not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the pet-loving Dissolve staff. —ed.) The Secret Life Of Pets sees C.K. lending his husky pipes to one of several pets who do crazy-fun shit while their owners are away at work, like eat entire turkeys, run about with pillows over their faces, head-bang to metal, and use kitchen appliances as back massagers. C.K. and Slate’s characters, two dogs named Max and Gidget, respectively, spend their time doing “big, big stuff” like “sit here and wait for Katie to come back.” Clairvoyant and murderous animals aside, this looks adorable.

The trail of the tape
Title: The Secret Life Of Pets
Director: Chris Renaud, Yarrow Cheney
Screenwriter: Ken Daurio, Brian Lynch, Cinco Paul
Cast: Louis C.K., Jenny Slate, Kevin Hart, Eric Stonestreet, Ellie Kemper, Lake Bell
Release date: July 8, 2016
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: *The sound of a desperate cat gnawing on a refrigerator shelf*
The entire trailer in one screengrab: 

Turbo Kid

Turbo Kid premiered to mostly positive reviews at Sundance—our own Noel Murray described it as follows: “A pastiche of 1980s VHS favorites, starring Munro Chambers as a BMX-riding teen who travels with an air-headed android girl through the decimated future-Earth of 1997(!), using his blaster-bracelet to ward off a band of marauders led by Michael Ironside. The plot dead-ends into an overextended outdoor fight sequence, but for almost an hour, the film gets the visual and aural texture of 1980s B-movies just right, while adding a layer of self-awareness.” Judging by the new trailer, Turbo Kid is totally strange and wonderful, almost like a pop-culture-reference-packed, more tongue-in-cheek, but equally violent version of Mad Max: Fury Road.

The trail of the tape
Title: Turbo Kid
Director: Anouk Whissell, Francois Simard, Yoann-Karl Whissell
Screenwriter: Anouk Whissell, Francois Simard, Yoann-Karl Whissell
Cast: Munro Chambers, Laurence Leboeuf, Michael Ironside, Edwin Wright
Release date: August 28, 2015
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “We have reached maximum casualty level.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab: 

In the Adam Sandler-penned (are there three more frightening words in the English language?) Hotel Transylvania 2, the titular hotel is relaxing its rigid “monsters-only” policy just as Sandler’s Dracula finds himself in the midst of some family #drama. His grandson Dennis, who’s half-human, half-vampire, begins to tilt more toward humanity than blood-sucking, so Dracula and co. decide to put him through a “monsters-in-training boot camp.” Then Mel Brooks shows up as somebody named Vlad, as he is wont to do. This trailer reappropriates Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” as a vampiric anthem, which someone should have done a long time ago.

The trail of the tape
Title: Hotel Transylvania 2
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Screenwriter: Adam Sandler
Cast: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Selena Gomez, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, Keegan-Michael Key
Release date: September 25, 2015
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “That’s not how that one goes. What’s wrong with ‘Suffer, suffer, scream in pain, blood is spilling from your brain?’ ”
The entire trailer in one screengrab: 

Boulevard

Dito Montiel’s Boulevard marks Robin Williams’ final performance, which is reason enough to see it. The film stars Williams as a married man who’s coming to terms with his homosexuality after repressing it for most of his life. One night, returning from visiting his father in a nursing home, he picks a gay hustler (Roberto Aguire) off the streets of Nashville, but instead of paying him for sex, just asks him to talk. The film premiered at Tribeca last year; Variety’s Peter DeBruge wrote that it marked “one of the kindest characters Williams has ever played…the actor projects a regret so deep and identifiable, viewers should have no trouble connecting it to whatever is missing n their own lives.” The trailer itself is pretty heartbreaking to watch, a reminder of the immeasurable talent and sensitivity of a man we’re all missing.

The trail of the tape
Title: Boulevard
Director: Dito Montiel
Screenwriter: Douglas Soesbe
Cast: Robin Williams, Bob Odenkirk, Kathy Baker, 
Release date: July 17, 2015
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “Nothing turned out the way I thought it would, I guess.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab: