Here’s the thing about Jurassic World: It sounds like such a fun idea. Who wouldn’t want to go to a theme park that features real dinosaurs? People go to theme parks for much, much less. (Me, personally? I go to theme parks for mouse-shaped ice cream, so you can imagine how passionately I feel about the idea of Jurassic World, and also about the possibility of T-Rex-shaped ice cream.) But it also sounds like a terrible idea, especially considering how things shook out in Jurassic Park. If you lived in the Jurassic universe and you had seen whole swathes of city destroyed because of wild, rampaging dinosaurs, wouldn’t it take a lot to get you to go to a new dino-centric park from the same damn people who let that disaster happen before?
We just have questions. (Really, we still have questions.)
Turns out, those questions were totally warranted, because these dinosaurs are going buckwild. Check out the newest trailer for Jurassic World to see what we’re dealing with here. It’s messy.
The trail of the tape
Title: Jurassic World
Director: Colin Trevorrow
Screenwriters: Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly, Amanda Silver, Rick Jaffa
Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jake Johnson, Judy Greer, Nick Robinson, Ty Simpkins
Release date: June 12, 2015
Tagline: The park is open.
The entire trailer in one line of dialogue: “Corporate felt genetic modification would up the wow factor.”
The entire trailer in one screengrab:
We’ve long suspected that the big bad dinosaur of Jurassic World would be the so-called “Indominus rex” (read up on it!), a genetically modified monster built to be the most fearsome dinosaur in creation. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s not enough that we bring back dinosaurs, now we have to bulk them up through science, too? (Well, yes, that’s kind of the entire point of Jurassic World.) Again, this just sounds like a horrible, fun, funhorrible, horribly fun idea. One ticket for Jurassic World (no, not Jurassic World the park, gosh no), please.
Wait, is this film called Jurassic World because these damn beasties are about to take over the entire world?