The Newsies is a regular feature that sees The Dissolve cheerfully adding to the awards glut by handing out imaginary awards related to the day’s movie news.
A few trailers of varying quality dropped today, which means it’s time for a
Newsies Special Sidebar: Trailers Of The Day
The Irrational Man trailer (out July 24)
In Irrational Man, Joaquin Phoenix plays a sad, middle-aged, but “radical and original” philosophy professor who falls in love with his way-younger student Emma Stone and becomes significantly less sad. There’s a trenchant and timely joke about Viagra in there, too. Glad to see Woody Allen is taking things in a new direction. Always fun to see a filmmaker stretch and evolve.
The What Happened Miss Simone trailer (out June 26)
Directed by Academy Award-nominee Liz Garbus, What Happened Miss Simone is an authorized Nina Simone doc, i.e. one made with the cooperation of her family and friends. The trailer is wonderful, filled with clips of Simone taking the stage, glowing testimonials of her talent (“Her voice was totally different from anybody else…how is she doing this?”) and reflections on her downfall. (“People think that she went out on stage, she became Nina Simone. My mother was Nina Simone 24/7. And that’s where it became a problem.”) The only thing this movie is missing is a central May-December romance. Woody?
The Last Witch Hunter trailer (out October 23 )
In The Last Witch Hunter, Vin Diesel is Kualder, an immortal witch hunter who’s trying to stop New York City’s covens from unleashing a plague on humanity. I thought we were done hunting witches, like, as a society? You know, live and let live, that whole thing. Whatever, Ygritte from Game Of Thrones is here!
The Wild Horses trailer (out June 5)
I’ve watched this trailer four times and I still have no idea what Wild Horses, Robert Duvall’s latest directorial effort (emphasis on “effort”), is about. What I do know: There are cowboys and James Francos and Josh Hartnetts (!!!) and horses and murder mysteries and gut feelings. What I don’t know: Anything else.
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YA Adaptation Of the Day: We Were Liars
Imperative Entertainment will adapt the bestselling YA novel We Were Liars, a movie about all of the people who said they liked Magic In The Moonlight. The E. Lockhart-penned book is a coming-of-age story about a “17-year old girl who survived a horrible accident at her family’s summer home two years ago that she cannot remember. She returns, determined to remember the details of her accident, but as the pieces start to come together, she discovers not only the painful truth of that night, but a shocking revelation about herself.” Spoiler: She realizes that, as a 17-year-old girl, she is almost too old to play a Woody Allen love interest.
Calm Down Dude Of The Day: Common, who’s suddenly in so many movies
Common is in a suspicious amount of movies all of a sudden. What are you avoiding in your real life, Common? Last week Common was cast in not one but two movies in one day; today brings news that he’s been cast in a third. He’ll be joining the ensemble of Barbershop 3, a sequel to the first two Barbershop films, both of which reimagined Sartre’s No Exit in a fun hair-salon setting. Ice Cube and Cedric the Entertainer will reprise their roles in the film, and Malcolm D. Lee, known for helming The Best Man franchise, will direct. Common is bald.