Using the most advanced computer technology ever invented, and a proprietary algorithm devised by a secret government think tank, The Dissolve created The Speculometron to determine the mathematical probability of the Internet’s latest movie rumors.
Rumor: There will be a crossover between the 21 Jump Street series and the Men In Black franchise.
Source: In an email that was part of the Sony leak, Jonah Hill reportedly called the idea of joining Men In Black and 21 Jump Street “clean and rad and powerful.”
Evidence: Talking to MTV, 21 Jump Street filmmakers Phil Lord and Chris Miller derided the idea of joining its lucrative undercover-cop franchise with Barry Sonenfeld’s trilogy about mismatched crime fighters taking on the alien scum of the universe, calling it “crazy.” But that didn’t keep Lord from continuing, “Nothing’s changed. It’s still a crazy idea, and we only do things that seem like they’re going to be terrible. We’re really focusing on what’s a great story for Schmidt and Jenko and how to tell the next chapter in their lives. And perhaps use creatures from another world at the same time.”
The Speculometron’s calculations: Lord and Miller have a reputation for being self-deprecating about their careers as miracle workers able to spin cinematic gold out of the doggiest and most mercenary of conceits. So when Lord says, “We only do things that seem like they’re going to be terrible” and hints at creatures from another world helping tell the story of the next chapter in Schmidt and Jenko’s story, it’s the ultimate humble brag, because heaven knows The Lego Movie and 21 Jump Street movies certainly seemed like they’d be terrible, and a 21 Jump Street/Men In Black sounds crazier and more out-there than anything the red-hot writing-directing pair has ever done. The duo is currently hard at work on a second 21 Jump Street sequel and overseeing various The Lego Movie spin-offs, so it seems like if a 21 Jump Street/Men In Black happens, it will not be for a while, as Lord and Miller have an awful lot on their plate already.
For us, the most tantalizing part of this scenario is imagining the look on Tommy Lee Jones’ face should he be presented with a screenplay fusing one of the silliest, if most profitable, film series of his career with an overachieving television adaptation about 30-somethings going undercover as high-school kids, and later, college students. We imagine Jones will scowl, then glare, then let loose a long string of profanity, and then reluctantly sign on once he sees how much he’ll be making from the film. 21 Jump Street + Men In Black is a crazy idea, but is it of the “so crazy it just might work” or “so crazy it should be disregarded immediately as a terrible mistake”? If this crossover works, one can only imagine what might follow: a Waterworld/Mr. Nanny team up? A movie parting The Three Ninjas and Zero Dark Thirty? Oh, the possibilities are endless!
Odds: 50 to 1. Lord and Miller might have a proven track record of making the impossible magnificent, but this might be beyond even their remarkable talent for transforming crap into treasure.