Hollywood is getting so remake-happy that we now need a new way to sigh “Hollywood is getting so remake-happy” that doesn’t sound like a cliché, because even bemoaning this long-term trend is beginning to sound as played out as the trend itself. We need new words! And probably also new movies!
The latest feature to get the remake treatment is the 1996 teen-witch drama The Craft (not to be confused with Teen Witch, which I am guessing will be remade within the next two weeks, as I have now doomed it as such by even saying its name). The Hollywood Reporter shares that Sony is getting back into business with the thriller, and has already chosen Honeymoon director Leigh Janiak to direct the feature and co-write it alongside her Honeymoon partner Phil Graziadei. Janiak, like Jennifer Kent of The Babadook fame, is an up-and-coming female horror director who knows her stuff, and because so much of The Craft is rooted in teen-girl fears, attaching a woman to the project is a canny move.
Robin Tunney starred in the original film as Sarah Bailey, a new transfer to a Catholic high school with a pretty precise social hierarchy. (Oh, high school.) Sarah struggles to fit in—and a dalliance with Skeet Ulrich’s loud-mouthed and totally rude Chris Hooker (Skeet Ulrich! 1996!) doesn’t help matters. She eventually falls in with a trio of outcasts—Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, and Rachel True—who have redirected their high school rage into amateur witchcraft. Sarah, as it so happens, might have some magic in her background, and when the foursome is completed, the group gets up to some pretty wild stuff (like a version of Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board that really works, and also like killing people and whatever).
The Craft may not exactly be the “cult horror movie” that THR touts it as being—it did open in the No. 1 spot back in May of 1996, besting films like The Great White Hype, The Truth About Cats And Dogs, The Birdcage, and Barb Wire, and oh my God, do you remember 1996?—and it went on to make just under $25 million at the box office. Not a smash hit by any means, but a modest success. Of course, the film has become a staple of the cable set, and I will personally watch it any time it shows up on the tube (a sentiment that I feel is shared by many people). There is a fan base here, and they may not hate this idea. (I do not hate this idea.)
Although there’s no word on what Janiek’s approach to the material will entail (though THR makes mention of its bent towards “female empowerment,” which is awesome), it will most likely involve some basic modernization. As we all learned earlier this week with the release of the first trailer for Jem And The Holograms, pushing a beloved property into the YouTube generation isn’t always a recipe for success (still wondering where the heck Synergy is), but The Craft could translate quite easily to the contemporary world. After all, the film is mostly a feature about bullying, and that’s something the kids are still into, right?
Anway, here’s hoping they don’t reenact that beach sea animal scene for this outing; the original busted up my dreams for a very long time.