Please do not Google image search “Human centipede.” Please don’t. Do not do this. You know not to do this. No, stop. No! Nooooo! Well, at least you can join me in my pain now. Thank you for that.
Back in 2010, visionary (??) filmmaker Tom Six brought the world a revolting curiosity named The Human Centipede (First Sequence), complete with a title that was not only admirably served as a solid synopsis for the film itself, but that all but threatened the movie-going public with still more (“first”? that guarantees at least some kind of “last,” right?). Six’s eventual sequel—The Human Centipede (Full Sequence)—definitely delivered on the “hey, let’s make this human centipede even longer!” front, but by the time it hit theaters in 2011, the shock value of the first had mostly worn off.
But Six isn’t done yet, and he’s intent on finishing up his body horror trilogy with one last shocker. The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) will hit theaters and VOD on May 22, and it promises to, at the very least, give the world the very longest human centipede ever. Like, 500 people long.
The brave souls over at Entertainment Weekly have now gathered the official—and quite long—synopsis for the upcoming (and reportedly final) entry into the Human Centipede franchise, which brings back stars Dieter Laser and Laurence R. Harvey in new roles. Can you stomach it?
“Bully prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser), leading a big state prison in the US of A, has a lot of problems; his prison statistically has the highest amount of prison riots, medical costs and staff turnover in the country. But foremost he is unable to get the respect he thinks he deserves from his inmates and the state Governor (Eric Roberts). He constantly fails in experimenting with different ideas for the ideal punishment to get the inmates in line, which drives him, together with the sizzling heat, completely insane. Under threats of termination by the Governor, his loyal right hand man Dwight (Laurence R. Harvey) comes up with a brilliant idea. A revolutionary idea which could change the American prison system for good and save billions of dollars. An idea based on the notorious Human Centipede movies, that will literally and figuratively get the inmates on their knees, creating the ultimate punishment and deterrent for anyone considering a life of crime. Having nothing to lose, Bill and Dwight create a jaw-dropping 500-person prison centipede.”
Both Human Centipede 3 and Human Centipede 2 hinge on Tom Six’s mostly fantastical world-building, as each film exists in a cinematic world where, not only is the first Human Centipede film a major cultural touchstone, but it’s also so prevalent that it has inspired wacky loners (like in the second film) and prison wardens (like in this new one) alike to make their own centipedes. The meta implications of the series have always been present, but the ick factor of the material has consistently outweighed them, something this Final Sequence (please?) looks to be repeating (and repeating, and repeating, and repeating...)