This is what J.J. Abrams does. He teases things. Typically, though, you at least have some idea of the thing he’s teasing, whether it’s a new Star Trek movie, a new season of Lost, or some kind of mysterious monster movie.
Not today! Today, via Entertainment Weekly, Abrams’ company Bad Robot released a minute long teaser for… uh, something? According to EW, they asked Abrams what it was for and he refused to tell them. The only clue, I guess, is the video’s title: “Stranger.”
Abrams has certain made oblique teasers before; Cloverfield’s first trailer didn’t even include its title (inviting some to speculate that the movie was actually a new version of Voltron). But at least there you still knew you were looking at a movie trailer. Who knows what this thing is selling! It could be almost anything.
“Is it a new film?” EW wonders. “A TV series? A digital endeavor? Let the speculation begin!” Okay! But only because you asked! Here are my guesses:
1)Based on the title, this must be a grim and gritty film based on Billy Joel’s classic album The Stranger. This scene is taken from the sequence inspired by “Only The Good Die Young.” The character in the water’s name is Only Thegood. In the next sequence, a shark jumps over him and then eats him.
2)Based on the image of the guy with his lips sewn shut, this must be a new movie about the horrible version of Deadpool seen in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
3)Based on the fact that Abrams is currently working on Star Wars: Episode VII, this is a viral video for the new Star Wars. Also, the new Star Wars is going to be way more goth and weird than any of the other ones.
4)Based on the fact that Abrams refuses to say what he’s teasing, or even what medium this work of teasery belongs to, this must be another piece of mystery box silliness where the sales pitch is given way more attention and care than the actual content, leading to a finished product that is wildly unsatisfying.
5)Some combination of the above.
What do you think? Am I right?